Star Wars Drabbles 9

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"ARRRGHHHH!"

Obi-Wan raced into the room, looking scared. "What's wrong Anakin!?" he demanded.

Anakin looked up. "Oh, nothing. I'm just practicing."

"Practicing what?"

"Well, these are the sounds I make when I'm pissed off," Anakin paused, looking thoughtful, then added, "Or when I'm having loud passionate sex."

Obi-Wan gasped, "Anakin!"

"…with myself."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So…what pisses you off?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Hmm, well, lots of things piss me off Master."

"Yeah I've noticed."

"Yeah I – wait, what?!" Anakin demanded.

"Well, I mean. Come on Anakin, let's be realistic. I mean, every single little thing pisses you off. I bet one of these days you're going marry Padme Amidala and when she gets pregnant pisses you off and you try to kill her by using the Force to choke her, and then you'll try to kill me because I pissed you off because I wanted to kill you, and then you'll get pissed off at the emperor Sidious because he's using Sith Lightning on your son and you throw him down an elevator shaft or something like that."

Anakin stared at him, his mouth open.

"I've…had a lot of time to think about that." Obi-Wan said after a long pause.

"I can see…."

"Yeah…"

"…so…"

Obi-Wan cleared his throat, "So what things in particular piss you off Anakin?"

"Hmm," Anakin paused to think. "The first thing that pisses me off, is Yoda."

"What! Yoda?" Obi-Wan repeated.

"Yeah, you're making a beautiful speech, when this happens…." Anakin pointed towards the HoloNet where Yoda was reprimanding Anakin for speaking out of term.

"Oh I see."

"So what pisses you off Obi-Wan?"

"Well…" Obi-Wan paused to think. "The Council…doesn't speak human…"

"What do you mean by that?"

Obi-Wan pointed at the HoloNet, where Obi-Wan and the Council were discussing political stuff.

Anakin looked back over at him, "What's wrong with that?"

"Just watch." Obi-Wan said, Anakin turned back to the HoloNet.

"Yeah, I think we should get some new decorations in here." Obi-Wan said. Everyone nodded.

"I think we should discuss the droid attack on the Wookies." Everyone nodded again.

"Speak with the Wookie, I shall, good relations, I have." Yoda said. Everyone nodded.

"If we put Skywalker on this Council, he will not be made Master." Everyone nodded.

"We should spy on the Chancellor." More nods.

"Anakin should do it." More nods.

"Let's get some Taco Bell." More nods.

Anakin turned to look at Obi-Wan. "You mean because all they do is nod?"

"Exactly my point."

"Hm."

"So anything else piss you off Anakin?"

Anakin stared into space, thinking. "Yeah, I hate it when Jar Jar can't talk right. 'Meesa can't spek right because meesa an idiot.'." Anakin mocked. Obi-Wan laughed. "So, what else pisses you off?"

"When my Padawan doesn't listen to me."

Anakin frowned and looked at the ground.

"For example: PADAWAN! WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU PUT YOUR LIGHTSABER?! DIDN'T I TELL YOU THAT WEAPON IS YOUR LIFE?!"

"Um…yeah, I was going to get to that…" Anakin trailed off, then said, "Something else that really pisses me off is when I lose my lightsaber."

Obi-Wan sighed, shaking his head. "Oh Anakin…so what else pisses you off?"

"Oh my Force!" Anakin shouted heatedly, "I would rather be back on Tatooine then to EVER listen or watch an Ewok."  

"Why's that Anakin?"

"Okay, A) Teddy Bears, enough said. And B) They are just sooo random! I bet the Force was like, 'Oh I think we should make some cute cuddly things to go along with all this nasty war stuff'. FUCK those Ewoks are annoying." He started to mimic Ewoks, "I'm an Ewok…my face…always looks like this." He pulled a weird face, which, surprisingly, looked exactly like an Ewok. "So what else pisses you off Master?"

"Younglings."

"Younglings?!"

"Yes, younglings."

"Wow, that's a shocker. I always thought that if I ever decided to go to the Dark Side and kill all of the Jedi that you would be pissed that I killed younglings."

"Nope."

"Woowww. SO can I?"

"NO!"

"Aw."

"So anyways, you'll be sitting down, right? And then those annoying little pests will come up to you, demanding what it's like to be a Jedi and informing you that they won't be going to work at the AgriCorps even though most of them are."

Anakin nodded, "I know what you mean. You wanna know what else pisses me off?"

"What's that Anakin?"

Suddenly Anakin's eyes turned yellow, and he pulled out his lightsaber. "YOU!"

Obi-Wan ran away screaming like a little girl. Anakin laughed. "I knew these yellow contacts would come in handy one day." He laughed again. Then paused.

"Wait…" he looked down at the lightsaber he was carrying. Was it Obi-Wan's? It certainly wasn't his…

"Uh, Master? I lost my lightsaber! Here's yours!" he called, chasing Obi-Wan. The next day it could see seen all over HoloNet that Anakin Skywalker, the Chosen One, went crazy and chased his screaming Master Obi-Wan Kenobi all around the Jedi Temple with a lightsaber that wasn't even his.

…